In Summary. . .

I had my last therapy session today before I leave for a two month vacation in Wyoming. Over the past couple of months I've been going on nearly a weekly basis. Before my week begins to accelerate, I wanted to take a minute and review what I've learned.

1. It is okay to grieve and feel sad over difficult situations. It is important to talk about things that happen and feelings that you have.
Too often I feel that I can't express myself or talk when I am going through a tough time. I close myself off from my husband, friends and family. I have felt so much better when I fight against the need for silence. Talking out feelings and situations relieves stress and helps me develop a plan for action.
2. I need to let go of things that aren't important. I cannot do everything, nor should I do everything. When I try to do much, my life spins out of control and I do not feel grounded or centered. This makes me feel incompentent and incapable. I need to daily celebrate my work--whether is be the few things or long list. I must also remember that much of mothering that is done isn't always reflected on a list. Seeing the big picture when in the trenches of motherhood helps me find joy in the daily activities of life.
3. Prioritize!
4. Do something good everyday that I enjoy. Recognise at this time in my life, that may be only 15 minutes of something, but nevertheless, I need at least 15 minutes a day!
5. The purpose of life isn't about suffering. We all have trials and struggles, but the sheer struggle isn't the most important thing. There are ways to alleviate suffering and a mature person looks for ways to find answers and relief. For example, if I ever suffer again from a serious long episode of depression, I will ask for anti-depressants. Taking medication does not mean I am less of a person, lack faith or am not taking responsibility for my actions. There are many times when body chemistry is out of balance and can be corrected through the careful use of medication.
6. I am a good mother. I am a good wife. I will replace negative thoughts about my abilities with positive ones.

I have worked very hard over the past several weeks as I've tried to understand why I get depressed and how to overcome it. I feel like Heavenly Father has been helping me during this process to better understand myself and also has led me to solutions for my struggles.

Most importantly, as I've gone to therapy, I've begun to feel much more Heavenly Father's love for me. When I am depressed, I cannot feel that love. I feel remote and disconnected. I am grateful for the opportunity to feel that peace and love again.